Quote: I am the Devil, & I am here to do the Devil's work!
Bio: Once upon a many moons ago, a unique love blossomed betwix Panlong the water dragon & Fenghuang the phoenix, a strange pairing you may think~dragon of water & bird of fire, the other mythological beasts certainly thought so. When the phoenix laid a magical egg which swirled with all the colours imaginable, the other beasts were bemused & gathered to witness the hatching. When the egg cracked open to reveal a baby human girl they were outraged, not to mention scared of what this could signify!
The creatures were discussing what should be done when suddenly the shrill & lisping voice of Bashe the elephant-swallowing serpent was raised to shout~
"ALMAGEDDON ISH UPON USH!"
There was uproar. In the noise & panic that ensued, fearing for their safety Fenghuang had no option but to flee with the child.
Fenghuang flew swiftly over league upon league, searching frantically for a place of santuary. Eventually she came upon a very sacred place, an isolated monastery incised into the rock of a far off distant mountain in a long forgotten land.
The monks found the girlchild, & cared for her, though it became apparent that this was no ordinary baby, fifty years passed & the baby although healthy & thriving, was still a baby! Fifty more years passed & the baby was only just learning to walk but the monks had no choice other than to continue their care for the child & the decades moved on. At the passing of each fifty year period Fenghuang would secretly visit the child, bending over the sleeping child a single tear would roll from her beak onto the youngster's cheek.
From the time the child was able the monks began teaching her, first with meditations & then with martial arts training, she slowly & eventually grew to be a strong warrior with a fierce nature, too fierce in fact for the monks whom were somewhat relieved when she told them it was time for her to leave to see the rest of the world beyond the monastery.
The night before she was planning to leave, she had a dream, it was a dream she'd had before, many times, the most beautiful & splendid bird with vibrant shimmering plummage was watching over her. This time however the dream was slightly different, the beautiful bird sang to her of wonderous distant places & of hidden dangers, the beautiful bird called her by a name that she'd never heard before but yet it seemed incredibly familiar~
Anarchy in my heart.
Likes: Skatin (obviously), Singing and singing when skatin, Talkin about ma Shareen and ma team.
Dislikes: Spiders - real ones not panty spiders but I hate them too so both, People who call Roller Derby Roller Disco as it gets on ma breasts.
I have so many fave Derby Moments but I think the best was when I heard they were starting a roller derby team in Edinburgh - my heart was in my mouth and I think I pee'd a wee bit in ma pants (not because o ma age either ha).
A small town in West Lothian was once home to an Amazonian woman with the heart of a warrior. This woman had a gang of loyal friends to whom she became defender.. protecting them from the strange orange track suited creatures who roamed the corridors of their assigned educational facility looking for a misfit meal. The creatures jeered and made it their mission to grind down the Amazonian, weakening her.. but she took refuge in the science labs, pouring over textbooks and brewing potions.
One day in the Amazonian's secret laboratory, after considerable toil and trouble, there was a huge explosion of purple glitter, highly inappropriate footwear, glitz, glamour and mammoth brassieres, and Bobscene Behaviour was born. In the never ending fight she took to her skates and never looked back, irrespective of concussion or arse-bumpage. Hope is not lost, for just as there will always be oppressors, critics and narrow minded baddies, there will always be Bobscene Behaviour!
After a youth spent fighting on the mean streets of New York City’s toughest borough, Bronx Betty left for the softer streets of Edinburgh. On acquiring a hot pair of 1970s disco skates, Bronx found that she was less clumsy on eight wheels than on her feet, making the two (skates and girl) inseparable, together even when making supper (though the baby blue skates with rainbow decoration have now been replaced by a sweet pair of Riedells). This, along with finding that the street fighting was not as popular in Edinburgh, made her turn to derby, something she was less likely to get arrested for, and become an apprentice of the masterful Auld Reekie Roller Girls.
"You can take a girl out of the Bronx but you can’t take the Bronx out of the girl. Someone might get hurt if you tried."
Cherry Fury 3:16
Relentless and dangerously diminutive, Cherry Fury is a whirlwind of speed that belies her slight stature.
After learning to skate at seven years old, Cherry Fury embarked on a life mission that sees her work hard, play hard and engage in sports that many would take one look at and say “Not for me, thanks.” Having been involved in extreme sports for most of her life, Cherry Fury sees Roller Derby as the chance to take a relatively new sport and, with the help of her ARRG teammates (as well as the other teams around the world) bring the sport into mainstream consciousness.
Cherry Fury exudes passion, work ethic and a drive to strike fear into the heart of her opponents.
Cherry Fury 3:16 says she just whipped your ass.
Crazylegs #11 - 'Blink and she'll hit you!'
Deep in the Welsh valleys, on the day that Crazylegs was born, confusion reigned. Mama Crazylegs was totally baffled. Try as she might to control her wee newborn's legs, they just would not lie straight. What a strange and funny baby thought Mama Crazylegs. Severe hip dislocation was diagnosed, "she'll never be an athlete" sighed the physician, but Mama Crazylegs wouldn't listen. Following years of painful operations, baby Crazy at last regained a semblance of control over her limbs, and was promptly signed up for dance classes. Alas the years of frustration burst out of the crazy girl's legs as she kicked and stomped her way through the routines, tripping, knocking other dancers and often causing pile ups.
Crazylegs finally accepted that dancing was not for her and hauled Celtic ass up to Scotland in the hope of a change of scenery, some fun and a slightly better music scene. Edinburgh did not disappoint, and whilst the occasional whiff of a urine soaked old town wynd sometimes made her gag, her discovery of the Auld Reekie Roller Girls and their lovely aromas made it all worthwhile. Finally, Crazylegs had found a sport in which overactive legs, loose hips and a general inability to go in a straight line is a bonus. Derby, and the hours spent perfecting the art of blocking and earth-shattering precision hits, is now an essential part of life for Crazylegs.
An Anonymous Fan: "...not only does she have a pair of crazy legs, but she sure has a magical bum too" This was followed by a sigh. "Lovely"!
Daisy Disease: Spreads like a virus.
Aims: When I joined ARRG I never thought I’d even be able to learn to skate, when I learnt to skate I never thought I’d be able to pass my WFTDA minimum standards, when I passed my standards, I never thought I’d be able to bout, when I was selected to bout, I never thought we’d win...My aims are to always try and skate as hard as I can, for as long as I can, to work as a team alongside all the awesome ARRG members, to remember the rules and to use more tactics, to hit harder and smarter, to dodge faster, to use more stealth, stay out of the penalty box, stop cutting track, and to keep learning, help others learn and to spread the derby love as far and as wide as it can go.
Life Changing Derby: I don’t even know where to start. Derby is the best thing that will ever happen to you. It grabs you by the ovaries and damn that motherflipper wont let go. Nothing can make you feel as good as when you first learn how to crossover, or derby stop, or that first time you hit that big girl and she goes DOWN, or when you’re team is points down and there’s only a few jams left and your jammer pulls a grand slam out of nowhere and all of a sudden you’re laughing and crying and shouting and screaming and hugging and punching the air. Derby turns grown-up, responsible, respectable women into violent, powerful, monstrous beasts and it’s the best fucking thing in the world. I have never felt as confident, popular, or secure as I have since learning to skate and play derby. You get to meet the most interesting, passionate, committed and inspiring group of women in the world, you get to skate out all your stress and worry, you get to take on an alternate persona and wear hot-pants and war paint (if you want). Derby life has its downside too though, if any boy had ever made me cry as much as derby drama does then he would have been kicked to the curb long ago. I can’t even count the sleepless nights spent worrying about teammates, committees, team shirts, new skaters, old skaters, grievance procedures, web forums, sponsorship money, membership forms, hall hire, ticket sales, other leagues, logos, politics and injuries to name but a few. The only difference is, with derby is IT IS WORTH IT. The minute you lace up your skates and strap on your pads it all evaporates and you’re queen of the track and nothing, no obstacle no matter how big or apparently insurmountable can stop you, ever. You’ve got your wheels and you’ve got your team, and for I one know that’s all I’ll ever need.
Oh and it gives you buns of steel.
Name: Danger Mouth 55
Bred in captivity on a secret army base in an even ‘secreter’ location, Danger Mouth led a life constantly repressed and monitored by the many camouflaged clad men and women who constantly warned of the dangers the outside world held, repeating over and over that the only thing outside these walls was DEATH. Smuggled from camp to camp Danger led a life of constant uncertainty. One bitter, snow shrouded night she snapped. No longer could these fences, walls and barricades hold her back. She knew her life was to be bigger and better than that – besides, she wanted to know what death looked like! Hacking and then raiding Daddy Danger’s hidden armoury vault, she kitted up and was packing enough heat to melt at least 50 Inuit inhabited igloos and then some! Under the cloak of night she ventured through many trees and shrubbery until she found a hole in the fence and hastily fled. Battling her way across harsh terrain, the freezing wind constantly biting at her exposed skin she began to move slower and slower until she collapsed into the heavy snow. Left for dead, a group of travelling performers found her nearly blue body and placed her in one of their brightly coloured wagons. Nursing her back to health, Danger stayed with this band of merry men women and monkey’s, roughing up hooligans, arm wrestling big shots and honing her fighting talk to nerve crushing in 3 seconds, whenever the occasion required, as thanks for their kindness. Danger had resigned herself to this mundane, but manageable life until, one stormy night she found herself in a small pub in the fair city of Auld Reekie. Nursing her drink, contemplating going freelance, a lull descended upon the room. As Danger looked up she found a group of camouflage clad men who had come to take her back to the life she had attempted to rid herself of! She reasoned that she could take on a few, but not all of the muscled brutes! No sooner had this thought left her head, that from the depths of the gloomy pub emerged a troop of beautiful but fatal Roller Girls! They leapt over tables, ‘regulars’ and pints, legs flying, boots connecting with groins, fists smacking into faces, carnage resonating around. Satisfied that the beating had introduced enough broken bones and permanent disfigurement the throng approached Danger. Unsure what she should do, she held her tongue and watched them intently, for the words that left their mouths would change her life forever : “Welcome, Danger Mouth, to the Auld Reekie Roller Girls!”
If historical documents are to be believed, some time in the 16th century there was a very evil woman (the town's folk called her Satan's Nana but this can't be confirmed) who loved to knit, cause trouble and generally be evil. She decided that she was getting old and needed someone or something to carry on her horrible ways. So she picked up her 10mm needles and started knitting. Before the sun fell she had completed her heir. She cast a magic spell and the child woke up. But the evil Nana soon realised that her plan hadn't gone as she had thought. The creature she had created would rather spend her time playing with puppies, baking cupcakes and making people presents than kick start the end of the world. Her motto was "Everybody love everybody" and this stood for everything that the old hag hated. The creature tried to explain that you could still kick ass without being mean all the time but the old woman wouldn't hear such ridiculous things. One night the creature had had enough of the old witch so she ran away. She settled in Glasgow but loved to travel to Edinburgh and this is where she was adopted by a group of women who seemed to embody what the creature was saying all along. They gave her a gift, a beautiful pair of black skates and as soon as they had met they were gone, tearing through the night like a speedy stocking stitch, reeking havoc and having fun. The creature never knew life could be like this and immediately fell in love with this wonderful band of misfits. Every so often the Nana's evil would emerge and the creature couldn't help but cause pain but the Auld reekie roller girls taught her to save it for on track. What was the creature's name? I hear you ask. Well it was Haberbashery and you'll need to stitch yourself back together after you run into her!
JOG-GER-NAUGHT 2 : a massive inexorable being that crushes whatever is in its path. Offerings of Gin or white wine are known to calm the Jo-ggernaughts aggression.
Legend has it that the Jo-ggernaught was stuck in exile in the lonely hills of Northern Scotland for many years, shunned by society, before finally escaping the Highland clans to the south where she brought havoc and chaos to the quiet city of Auld Reekie, regularly spotted rampagin on the Meadows. Jo-ggernaught is a rare life-form appearing very lovable and shy answering to the name of Jo by day, dressed in bright colours and flowers, but prone to terrible anger that causes a transformation similar to that of The Hulk, into an angry and violent being.
One day whilst on a rampage she discovered the clan of The Auld Reekie Roller Girls where she not only met other misfits such as herself for the first time but discovered the full potential of her powers when skates where applied to her feet. Jo-ggernaught now releases all anger on the derby track and Auld Reekie is peaceful once again as her alter-ego happily wanders the city, humming to herself in flowery clothes.
Juicy Lucy
Jazz hands!
Juicy Lucy worked in a seaside arcade selling fruit smoothies to tourists, but longed for something exciting. Something to take out her short person rage and use up all the fruit energy she consumed...
One day whilst messing around on a grabber machine in the arcade she won the top prize - a pair of quad skates! She tied them up tight, took an extra long slurp of smoothie, skated straight out the door and left the arcade forever!
On and on she skated, until she stumbled upon a group of independent women, playing Roller Derby, DIY style! Straight off Juicy Lucy joined in and booty blocked her rage away, using the POWER OF THE FRUIT to whizz through packs!
AIM:
I would like to skate with ARRG for the rest of my life without having the government stick their nose in :0
There once was an excitable little creature called Mo, who had the lamentable habit of swimming in the sea, way out of her depth. One day, she was floating on her back and being visited by strange visions of something beautiful that she didn't recognise - something that looked like a shoe with four wheels attached. Mesmerised by the vision, she didn't notice the huge blue whale that was making waves behind her until it was too late! She was shaken out of her dream and sucked head first into the belly of the whale! Now at first, this wasn't as bad as it sounds, except from the diet of partially digested crill. But soon, Mo started to become very bored and began running around in circles. As she ran, she became more and more aggressive and the whale began to feel sick. Eventually, it spat her out in the Clyde. Disorientated, she stumbled around for days until she eventually collapsed in Edinburgh. Having recovered from her ordeal she searched for something to help her blow off some steam... As if by magic, she found the object of her daydreams - in fact, there were two of them! She tried them on and they whisked her away in the direction of the Auld Reekie Roller Girls, a band of Amazon-like women with a love of speed and a fighting spirit. Mo proudly joined the team and became Mo B Quick. These days, Mo prefers skating round and round a track to running round and round a whale's stomach, and can't stand seafood or swimming.
“Moxie” - the ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage/aggressive energy; initiative/skill; know how
“Emerald” - my birthstone, favourite colour, involved in my favourite musical “Wicked”
On her quest to get to the Emerald City, Kelly had a rather different experience from Dorothy...
Following the Yellow Brick Road she came across no scarecrow, tin man or lion...she stumbled upon a jammer, pivot and a blocker. As she attempted to pass the blocker and pivot, she was pushed aside again and again. Seeing her confusion and frustration, the jammer took her aside. She explained she had to be Moxie.
When Kelly asked what this meant, the jammer said: "to be able to face difficulty with spirit and courage, tap into aggressive energy whilst using initiative, skill and know how." When Kelly apeared taken aback by these words, the jammer simply ushered her forward and told her that once she passed the pivot and blocker, she would get a prize. With this incentive, Kelly set off to pass, and after a couple of attempts managed it!
She recieved 3 prizes. The first was a beautiful Emerald stone, and the second, to quench her thirst - a can of "Moxie" soda. Her third present was contained in a large box....it was a pair of quad roller skates!
Thinking these would quicken her journey, she eagerly put them on. Further down the Yellow Brick Road, she found a bunch of girls all dressed in black and green who were also on skates! She instantly warmed to them and they asked her to join them. She eagerly accepted. Then they told her that in order to join, she would need a new name....after some thought, she decided to take inspiration from her trip down the Yellow Brick Road and decided on Moxie Emerald.
And this in where Kelly Settled happily ever after.
I fell in love with derby after attending a bout in Seattle, where the Rat City Roller Girls played the Bay Area Derby (BAD) Girls of San Francisco. It was not my intent to fall in love, It just happened.
Roller derby was actually on my list of things to see before we moved from Seattle to Edinburgh in 2008. I bought my skates and kit from Wylie E. Peyote, one of the proprietors of Fast Girls, a roller derby skate shop in Seattle. I thought it would be fun to skate around Green Lake in my newly acquired Rat City T-shirt. I spent a lot of time trying to convince the lovely runners of Seattle that was in fact OK, and that the pads really did break my constant falling. Anyway, it was great "me-time" away from my then 4 month old daughter. Then it was time to move.
I looked online to see if there was a team I could support in Scotland, never dreaming I would actually skate for them. Lucky for me, Edinburgh was currently forming the Auld Reekie Roller Girls, and they were looking for players! Online, Daisy Disease convinced me that I would in fact be welcome at practice even though I couldn't actually stay up on my skates for more than 2 minutes, I was a large lady with many curves, and nearing my mid 30's. Daisy proclaimed that the ARRG myspace site was correct. Any size, shape, age over 18, or ability player was and is welcomed with open and smelly arms.
After a year, with the support of my ARRG family, Dr. Whackher, and Mini Whackher, I've skated in 3 bouts: Fishnet Burns, Mayhem, and Fear and Lothian. I also am spokesperson for the Program Committee, and make the programs for ARRG, beginning with Mayhem.
POW!
I have twelve vacancies at the motel, where I spent most of my life with mother. Mother was practically an invalid she spent most of her time sitting in the rocking chair by the window, except when I hid her in the dark dank fruit cellar for two days, but that was to be the last thing I done for her. After they came and took mother away and cleaned out the swamp at the back of the big house I focused my time on derby. I had no more guests at the motel, but I still have twelve vacancies if you want a room. I now spend more time on the track with the girls. I can still hear mother telling what to do in my head from time to time, Mother says “always remember child that you are not just a human being you are a psycho being 24/7”
Queenie Ville,
The Royal Wheee!
Forced into exile after an unpleasant incident with revolting peasants HRH has a chip on her shoulder of Plantagenet proportions. With scores to settle and vengeance to wreak, on track she divides and conquers. "Let them eat skate." she cries as she crushes her foes. Her detractors can kiss her annus horribilis.
Skate-tastrophy
1/4 Gill
During a malfunction on the crash test dummy production line, Skate-tastrophy was accidently given 2 left feet. The evil quality control overlord spared no feelings as he banished her to the wastelands of Musselburgh where she spent her time aimlessly wandering around in circles. Over time she learnt to overcome her affliction and eventually stumbled into the bright lights of Edinburgh and the delights of roller derby. Her fellow skaters never jeered her clumsiness and taught her to put to use her continual habit of bumping into others. When off track she enjoys counting her broken bits and shop lifting left footed shoes from shop front displays.
Number #79
Headline: Part-time Derby girl
Aims: Rock the track, drink with my girls and generally have a good time.
ARRG is awesome because: Our team motto is 'it's nice to be nice' but we can still kick some serious ass. We have such an immense team spirit, and we top it off with a huge capacity for partying!
Bio: Sarah lived a perfectly normal life until her 21st birthday, when on a trip to Nepal she was captured by rebel gurkhas. They hoped to use her to extrapolate money from the British Government. They tortured her and sent videos to Downing Street. The government were too busy filing expenses claims to do anything to help her. She made herself useful to the rebels and 8 years passed as she slowly became part of their rebel band, training in gurkha knife skills, hunting, looting, ransacking towns. Slowly they stopped watching her suspiciously and she was one of them, but they were wrong to trust her. At no point had she given up her plans of escape, or her thoughts of vengeance. One night, after being trusted to clean and sharpen the Gurkhas knives - the 18 inch curved blades known as Kukri - she launched her attack, took her revenge for the torture, and slaughtered every single man with his own blade. Knives still dripping blood, she escaped the jungle. With a burning anger and a large collection of knives (a delightful combination!) she 'acquired' money from tourists and made her way back to Scotland where she had grown up. Taking the name 'Switchblade Scarlet' so no one could track her, she was drinking in a bar when cornered by some mean looking ladies. They beckoned her to follow. The 'Auld Reekie Roller Girls' they called themselves. They seemed tough and dangerous but she could tell they had good hearts. She followed them to a hall where many girls were burning round a rollerderby track, skating like demons, and she knew she'd found her new family.
Tartan Tearaway was the most feared warrioress to roam the Highlands of Scotland. She fought with her Clan the Highland Heathens to defend their lands and their honour. However, her foes found a way of defeating Tartan, for the wheeled boots upon her feet, were no use on the rough and mountainous terrain of her home-lands. Her enemies were able to over power her, and Tartan fled for her life.
Months after she had retreated, Tartan soon found herself in the city of Auld Reekie, and chanced upon a band of wheeled warriors, just like her! They welcomed her to their clan, the ‘Auld Reekie Roller Girls’ and she joined them in defending their city. For in the flat, paved streets of the city, Tartan’s wheeled boots gave her speed and strength enough to defeat those who were once able to defeat her.
She now fights along side the brave women of ARRG, hoping that one day she will face her enemies once more, and get her revenge…
**Violet Vitriol 9mm: approach with caution**
Don’t be fooled by Violet’s bookish exterior - when she gets on track her inner Vitriol is unleashed. If this skater’s not firing through the pack like a bullet from a gun, she’s all over the opposing team like a virulent rash.
Her quiet determination masks a pent-up poison that’s never far from the surface – the advice is to approach with caution!
“Roller Derby is what I’d been missing all my life,” she shares with us while catching breath trackside. “It’s fun, competitive, tactical, keeps you fit, and you get to play with a bunch of fully awesome girls. I mean, what more could you want?”
Strong and stable, with a knack for cutting and weaving, Violet’s focusing on her speed for jamming while putting work in on her booty blocks and body checks.. But whatever she’s working on, she assures us that she’ll “sweat more than I’ve ever sweated before”. And with that our girl V speeds off for another gruelling workout... and a whole new world of fun.
Zillah was a little girl that lived just outside of a small village called Visnove near the White Tatras mountains in what used to be known as Magyar or what is now called Hungary. Back in the 16th century she was kidnapped as a little girl by the evil countess that ruled the land. The countess' husband was always away so she pretty much got up to whatever she wanted and as she was a noble woman, no one challenged her. Kidnapping young girls was her forte. Zillah was only 5 at the time she was kidnapped and she quickly became a mute. This was incredibly frustrating to the evil countess and she beat her regularly to try to get her to speak. Zillah became friends with all the other young girls that were kept captive and they formed an unbreakable bond. Sometimes a girl would disappear and never come back. Nobody knew what happened to the girls when they left. At one point it was only little Zillah left on her own. No more girlfriends to play with. She was very sad at this time a decided to plan her escape. The only thing is, without screaming, nobody would hear her. What was she to do? How would she get out? Her prayers were answered one day when a beautiful maiden showed up to the castle. She was gleaming white in the full moon light and had an almost ethereal beauty. Zillah felt an amazing pull to this stranger and couldn't help but run towards her trying to explain what was happening but without a voice to say it with, she could only draw and write. The stranger understood immediately what was going on. She instantly offered to help and hid little Zillah under her skirt and walked out the front door. It's amazing that as Zillah left, she realized she had been there for at least 15 years! Where did the time go?
The stranger took her into the surrounding forest where no one could find them and slowly drew towards her saying 'don't be afraid, I'm going to give you the choice I never had...'
Zillah woke up days later. She knew what her choice was and stands by it everyday. Amazing that Zillah can be playing roller derby in the 21st century when she was actually born in 1523 isn't it? But she is still a mute to this day. One day she will learn to say 'inside', 'outside'... One day.
Aims/Goals: currently to just plain kick ass
How has derby changed my life? I used to be very involved in the women's community back in Canada. I had all these amazing and beautiful friends and was always around lovely ladies constantly!! I didn't have that feeling or community for a very long time after I moved here and now that I have joined derby, with all the amazing women I have met, I once again feel complete. Literally.
The Bang-Bang Sisters!!!
Left to bring themselves up in some of the wildest and cruellest parts of the world, these 2 girls had to learn too defend themselves, quickly. Inseparable form birth they would always jump to the defence of each other and go in all guns blazing to protect their sister. From anything, no matter what! They drifted around the world looking for somewhere to escape too. When eventually the settled in Central Scotland where at last they felt safe. But both felt (even though neither would admit it) that something was missing. Maybe it was the lack of constant threats to each others safety? They no longer needed to protect each other anymore. Their lives had changed, they had changed and they began to fight like cat and viscous cat. But neither could win and they gradually drifted apart!
Bobbie went away and immersed herself in the world of music, going on tour with Punk bands and living a rough and ready life style. While Ella~Bella took comfort in rules and the art of enforcing them! The sisters had continued to grow further and further apart the years passed and they barely spoke except for a brief meeting once a year. On this yearly get together in 2008 they agreed to meet in Auld Reekie. It was here that they discovered a band of misfit girls that they both felt they could be part of. Immediately they bonded again, and began to protect each other and teach each other again. And now they had a large ARRG family.
Bobbie’s caring attitude towards her sister has extended to her new ARRG family and even when she deals a hard hit she is always there to cushion the blow during the aftermath! She takes no prisoners when she is on track or off track reffin’.
Ella-Bella enforces the law in ARRG to the letter and shows no mercy even when her hard hitting sister is on track. Ella~Bella has become the iron fist in the velvet glove that is the Bang-Bang sisters.
Zebras are African equids best known for their distinctive white and black stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns unique to each individual. They are generally social animals and can be seen in small harems to large herds. In addition to their stripes, zebras have erect, mohawk-like manes. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and asses, zebras have never been truly domesticated.
There are three species of zebra: the Plains Zebra, Grévy's Zebra and the Mountain Zebra. The Plains zebra and the Mountain zebra belong to the subgenus Hippotigris, but Grevy's zebra is the sole species of subgenus Dolichohippus. The latter resembles an ass while the former two are more horse-like. Nevertheless, DNA and molecular data show that zebras do indeed have monophyletic origins. All three belong to the genus Equus along with other living equids. In certain regions of Kenya, Plains zebras and Grevy's zebras coexist.
The unique stripes and behaviors of zebras make these among the animals most familiar to people. They can be found in a variety of habitats, such as grasslands, savannas, woodlands, thorny scrublands, mountains and coastal hills. However, various anthropogenic factors have had a severe impact on zebra populations, in particular hunting for skins and habitat destruction. Grevy's zebra and the Mountain zebra are endangered. While Plains zebras are much more plentiful, one subspecies, the quagga, went extinct in the late nineteenth century.
The name "zebra" comes from the Old Portuguese word zevra which means "wild ass". The pronunciation is /ˈzɛbrə/ ZEB-rə internationally, or /ˈziːbrə/ ZEE-brə in North America.
Hurricane Hayles 74mph
Hurricane Hayles joined the Auld Reekie Roller Girls in August of 2008 as a complete amateur skater and promptly fell over (backwards) and injured her coccyx.
At that point she found a whole new lease of life, epic roller derby adventures and the most awesome bunch of friends a girl could ever wish for.
For a year, Hurricane Hayles developed her skills as a skater and blocker, working to make sure her bootay got in as many jammers faces as possible! When not skating, Hayles could often be found peeling some poor, unfortunate, injured skater off the track and carting them off to hospital with the awesome (yet also sadly retired) Medic One.
Life and love sadly caused Hayles to physically part ways with ARRG in August 2009 when she moved to Montreal Canada (it’s ALL SiKO’s fault). She now fills the ARRG shaped void in her life skating for Les Contrabanditas, as part of the Montreal Roller Derby League and aspires to conquer the roller derby community in Canada and the US by continuing to be the gobby, yet loveable, British chick with a big arse.
Hurricane Hayles continues to support ARRG as their Number 1 fan in Canada and as distant member of the web committee, until their paths cross once more…
Madame de Stompadour ruled the courts of 17th Century Paris with an iron stomp. Stompy is used to getting her own way, on track and off! Special skills: solid as a rock, hits like a tonne of bricks! Stompy has returned to the land of stars and stripes and is currently skating with the Minnesota RollerGirls of St. Paul, Minnesota, USA.
ARRG’s very own knight in shining armour with the crappy bedside manner”
Though very little is known about Medic One’s past, rumour has it he was once wanted by the FBI for kidnapping and haphazardly performing operations on female skaters across the United States in the late nineties. Escaping to the UK he managed to curb his enthusiasm for maiming skaters until the formation of the Auld Reekie Roller Girls in 2008. He can now be found trackside, licking his lips, awaiting an excuse to tend to his next victim.
Medic One has always claimed there is no truth to these rumours, adding ‘does this hurt?’
Being a roller derby medic involves a lot of shouting. Apart from imparting such wisdoms as ‘get your bloody fingers off the track!’ before people get injured, roller girls are also hard to convince they cannot keep skating with broken bones, dislocated joints or bleeding wounds and sometimes need to be told somewhat forcefully to sit down or sit still while body parts are rearranged into their correct anatomical position. This in turn can lead to being vehemently sworn and shouted at. Medic One’s time is divided equally between treating players, giving advice and being ignored.
Having been a part of the Auld Reekie Roller Girls since they were founded, Medic One looks upon the skaters as though they were his sisters, in the sense they are mean to him and make fun of him but he loves them nonetheless. He reciprocates by poking at their bruises and torturing them with freeze spray. Since joining the team he has learned all there is to know about tampons and chocolate donuts, has developed a severe phobia of women and has received regular inoculations against cooties.